What do you wish for on your birthday?

I was born on my father's birthday and so my birthday celebrations were always joint affairs. When I was little, my mom would coach all the little girls at my parties to sing "Happy Birthday to Rachel and Rabbi Karff" as she brought in the cake aglow with candles. Some girls might have minded the divided attention; I felt honored as if sharing my birthday made me extra special. Of course, I wasn't sharing it with just anyone, I was sharing it with the most special man in the world. Lots of little girls think that their father is special, but I KNEW mine was. Everywhere I went, people would tell me what a wonderful man he was. He seemed larger than life. When we were at temple, he was the star of the show, and his three adoring daughters' were always happy to bask in the overflow glow.
When I was fifteen, we moved to Houston and the congregation rolled out the red carpet to welcome us as if we were visiting royalty. For a shy girl from Chicago, the attention was sometimes overwhelming. However, I knew that he deserved their praise and attention. I knew he was special. On the high holidays, when he would finish his sermon, the room would resound in a loud collective purr of awe, and I can still hear the loudly whispered praises now if I close my eyes.
"Amazing!"
"He did it again."
"Powerful"
"It felt like he was talking just to me."
My whole teen self would swell with pride. That's my dad! He wasn't just admired for his oratory skills though, he is also incredibly compassionate.

Last night, the temple held a service in honor of his 80th birthday and Rabbi Les Gutterman flew in from Rhode Island to give a sermon/tribute to him. One of many kind (and true) things Rabbi Gutterman talked about was my dad's spirit of genuine lovingkindness. My father has a pure heart and a wise mind. Sometimes, we mistakenly believe that true kindness can only exist with innocence. My dad has taught me that this is just not true. He is perceptive and wise and knows how the world really is; he sees its flaws and loves it anyway. He sees our flaws and loves us anyway.

Voltaire wrote that "God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." My father has lived well, and he has always been my compass. I look to him and know that his is the kind of life I aspire to live, even if I fall short more often than I'd like. Dad finds beauty (and spirituality) in a perfect Michigan sunset, a ripe peach, a funny joke, a brilliant novel, a person who has survived something difficult without getting lost in bitterness. He has taught me that you can be analytical and intellectual and yet simply love life unconditionally as well. How many people do you know of whom you can say that?

My three wonderful kids flew in to celebrate this milestone birthday with our family and having them here with me made me understand how much I value the people I love. They are no longer little and in one nest under my wings...but they are still very much a part of me. I am a very proud and grateful mom.

So, Monday will come and go...another marker of another year. Another candle on the cake and more wishes. On September 19th 1960 the stars aligned in perfect order to seal my destiny. I was to be born to a loving couple, Joan Mag Karff and Samuel Egal Karff, a dancer and a Rabbi. On every birthday, I was meant to be reminded of this special gift as dad and I would celebrate together. You are not supposed to share the wishes you make right before you blow out the candles on your cake....so let me just say, Happy 80th Birthday Dad....I will be making wishes for you and for me and for our family and sending hope out into the world that more stars will align and more Sam Karffs will be born to teach us all "the gift of living well."
I love you!