WHY IS NEEDLEWORK SO SATISFYING?

Ok..all you non-crafty types, feel free to check out now and come back next week :)

Seriously though, I know that all my bleaders (blog-readers) may not be equally fascinated with all of my different passions, and that's perfectly fine. Right now, I happen to be happily obsessed with embroidery.

I wish I still had one of my very first crafty projects which was an embroidered chambray workshirt that I worked on all summer when I was about thirteen. It was so seventies...which makes sense since that would have been around 1973. Hopefully, I've progressed in skill since then, but it has been a long time since I've  tried my hand at this type of needlework.

In the interim, I've dabbled in knitting, felting, cross-stitch, quilting, needlepoint and sewing. That list doesn't include my forays into the worlds of scrapbooking and photography. What can I say? I'm a crafty gal.

Something drew me back to embroidery in the last few weeks, and I am thoroughly enjoying becoming reacquainted with an old friend. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I was born in the wrong era. I'm reading Pride and Prejudice right now with my sophomores and East of Eden with my seniors and both of those books talk a bit about needlework. Jane Austen's world is appealing to me for so many reasons (OK, I have a crush on Colin Firth's Darcy), and I think I may have been well-suited to that kind of life. I am obviously romanticizing things in a big way because being a woman in the Regency Era had innumerable challenges which we contemporary gals cannot even begin to fathom. Hygiene and women's rights both come to mind!

But I digress....anyway....In East of Eden, the very upright, uptight Liza Hamilton judges the evil and very pregnant Cathy Trask because she has idle hands. "What was she doing with her hands?" she asks her husband Samuel. "Nothing I guess," he responds. "Liza sniffed. 'Not sewing, not mending, not knitting?" While Liza admittedly could find fault with someone even less tainted than Cathy, her point is clear. There is something productive about needlework. When our hands are occupied we feel useful.

One of the many books I've collected on the subject is the Embroidery Companion by Alicia Paulson.

Paulson describes being in a terrible car accident when she was 29. She writes about the months and months of recovery time when she was bedridden. To keep her sanity, Paulson took up embroidery, a pursuit she remembered from her childhood.  She writes: "Through almost every day of my recovery, I stitched a wonderland of hearts and flowers. Each morning I set about creating the world I wanted, so different from the real one I was in."

Somedays, the world can be trying, or stressful, exhausting or frightening and needlework is a soothing reminder that I need to slow down, and focus my attention on something beautiful. I love the feeling of creating something from nothing. A small piece of linen fabric is like a blank canvas. The threads come in different weights and colors and there are a myriad number of patterns available in books and online and in my head. It is exciting to watch a picture develop stitch by lovely stitch. 

Of course, the fun continues when I am able to share my creations as gifts. The photo below is of a little blue linen pouch I made for my sister's upcoming nuptials. Every bride needs to carry something old and something new and something borrowed and something blue. So I made this little new blue bag.

I better sign off now...computers are great...but my needle awaits :)

HOW CAN WE EMBRACE OUR VULNERABILITY?

After the lovely long weekend in honor of the profound life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, my school held a thought-provoking faculty inservice centered on personal wellness. We were enormously lucky to have the renowned researcher, speaker and author,  Dr. Brene Brown (there is an accent over the e but I cannot figure out how to place it there). Dr. Brown lives in Houston and teaches at the University of Houston. She is a highly sought after presenter who travels around the country and world talking about her research findings in the areas of shame and vulnerability.  I had heard her speak once before, but while I found her work interesting, the message did not resonate with me as deeply as the one she gave last Tuesday did.

I took voluminous notes; however, I do not presume to be capable of telling you exactly what Dr. Brown said word for word. So, if you are interested in hearing the message straight from the researcher's mouth,
these books are readily available:
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
&
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power


Dr. Brown and her team of researchers have done hours and hours of interviews with people of all ages about these issues, and her findings are really worthy of our attention.

One of the most relevant takeaways for me from the lecture was her line that "we live in a culture of deep scarcity." Dr. Brown describes this as the prevailing belief that we can never be or do enough. For example, we can never be successful enough, or rich enough, or thin enough or good enough.
The underlying cultural message is that, according to Dr. B.: If you are leading an ordinary life, you are leading a meaningless life." We are bombarded with this message in so many ways. The media celebrates celebrity even when it is false or empty as is the case with most reality tv stars. People are now famous for being famous rather than for anything of value that they have accomplished or created.

At a school like mine, where everyone (teachers and students alike) are constantly pushing themselves to be better, to be the best, there is an air of competitiveness and stress that permeates everything. Don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful place to teach and to learn, but that high level of academic excellence brings with it a certain level of stress and tension.

One of the ways we combat these feelings of inadequacy are through LOVE and BELONGING. I know it sounds trite but I am not making this stuff up. We need to believe that we are "profoundly lovable" and we need to believe that we belong, that we fit in. Dr. Brown ties both of these to the need to be vulnerable. She explained that there are cultural myths about vulnerability that most of us buy into.
We believe that vulnerability is weakness and we believe that vulnerability is optional. She vehemently disproves both of those statements.

Obviously, just as plants cannot grow without water or light, vulnerability cannot flourish without trust and safety. This is where Dr. Brown's exhaustive research on shame and guilt come in. Being a Jewish mother, and having a Jewish mother, I thought I knew everything there was to know about guilt, but I was wrong. In Brown's lexicon, guilt is not terrible when used appropriately. It is shame that is the villain. Let me try to explain. Dr. Brown explained that people may be either GUILT-PRONE or SHAME-PRONE. Not surprisingly, much of this distinction can be traced back to the parenting style in your family of origin. Look at these two very different examples that Dr. Brown uses.
FAMILY #1: "You're a great kid, but that was a really bad decision that you made."
FAMILY #2: "You're a bad kid."
 The child in family one will, in all likelihood, grow up to have a healthy sense of guilt when he does something wrong. He will feel responsible and take responsibility for his actions, but he will not feel like he is a failure every time he fails.
The child in family two, however, will tend to blame others for his mistakes and rationalize rather than accept responsibility. He will not be able to separate his ultimate feelings of worth from his occasional mistakes or bad decisions.
In other words, it is natural and healthy to feel guilt when we have erred. We should not feel shamed. We should not feel that who we are is being attacked rather than what we have done.

So how are shame and vulnerability connected? Well, if we live/work in a culture that tends to shame us if we do not comply with its demands, then we shut down, wear masks and refuse to risk being vulnerable. Dr.Brown encourages us to "let ourselves be seen." She argues persuasively that real connection only happens when we are authentically present (my words), when our goal is to be seen rather to fit in (her words).
I think Dr. Brown's work applies to every home, every business, and every classroom. If I have piqued your interest, check out one of her books. I apologize, in advance, if I have gotten any of her ideas wrong and I accept responsibility fully for any errors. However, I am certainly not ashamed because I know I did my best :)

HOW DO YOU MAKE A HEALTHY, HEARTY LENTIL STEW?

It is cold here, and I love it! Of course, we don't have the lovely look of winter that many of you have. We have no snow blanketing the cars and treetops, but it is pretty darn chilly here and thats about as close to winter as we are going to get! So, after driving back from a whirlwind  (less than 24 hours) trip to Austin yesterday, I did not have the energy to go to the grocery store, but I wanted something healthy and hearty for dinner. After raiding the fridge, the extra freezer and my pantry, I came up with these ingredients:
1 package of ground turkey
1 bag carrots
1 bag of beautiful red lentils
1 large yellow onion
2 large cloves of garlic
3 (1 quart) boxes of organic chicken stock
1 can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1 small can of tomato paste

I don't know about you, but to me, those ingredients practically screamed: CURRIED TURKEY LENTIL STEW

I may not look pretty, but I taste great!

These are the spices I used (but feel free to get creative with whatever you like or have on hand):
garam masala
curry
cumin
red pepper
salt
black pepper

WARNING: This makes a giant pot of stew and is pretty thick. If you'd like yours to be soupier,
add extra broth. The lentils soak up a ton of liquid as they cook, and I ended up adding quart after quart of chicken stock until I found the right balance.

Instructions:
Heat olive oil in saute pan. Add diced carrots (about 1- 11/2 cups), chopped onion, and grated garlic to hot oil.
Stir and saute until onions start to brown and carrots begin to soften. Add a tablespoon of cumin to the pan as well and stir well.
Add ground turkey and cook together until all of the turkey is cooked (no more pink showing).
In a large stockpot, heat up the chicken broth and tomato paste and stewed tomatoes. Add lentils and stir.
Add 3-4 tablespoons garam masala and 3 tablespoons curry. Add 1-2 teaspoons red pepper and black pepper and salt to taste.
The lentils take about 30-40 minutes to fully soften. When they have, add turkey/veggie mixture and more chicken stock and continue to simmer as long as you like.
Along the way, taste the spices and adjust accordingly.
For those of you who like your food spicy, add a hot sauce like Tabasco or Frank's RedHot, when you serve.
Enjoy and stay warm!!!!

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE WILL FIX OUR FRACTURED EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM?

Nine years ago, I began my teaching career. By all standards, I was a late starter, though I believe that teaching had been in my blood since I was a little girl. I remember an early fascination with office supplies, esp. carbon paper (does anyone remember what that was?). I'd use the carbon paper to make up games and stories and tests and then I would play "SCHOOL" with my two younger sisters and, a few years later, with the the kids I babysat. Though I had originally worked in Public Relations, the field had never captured my heart and as my divorce neared, I couldn't imagine resuming that career. Instead, I decided to return to school and get a Masters in Teaching. Luckily, Rice University offered a wonderful program and I was accepted.
My first job, after graduation from Rice, was in the International Baccalaureate program at a local public high school. I felt lucky to get a job and esp. one that was so near my home. However, the experience of working in a large public school was a huge eye opener. I loved the I.B. program and I believed fully in its mission. The administration of the school, however, was not as exemplary. While the students were diverse and interesting, the principal (and his cohorts) were small-minded, illogical and I suspect even corrupt. I was appalled by the lack of respect afforded both students and teachers in the system that made up  this large high school. There was a level of ineptitude on the part of many administrators (and quite a few of the older teachers)that made me feel embarrassed to be among them. Stories of laziness and incompetence were rampant, though I tried to believe they were widely exaggerated. However, the longer I stayed, the more I began to believe that the accusations were fair representations of the life of the school. It is probably fair to say that I would not have lasted as a teacher if I had not been fortunate enough to move across the street to the fine private school that I am still teaching at.
I remember that after a few weeks in my new school, I spoke to my dad and said: "I used to think that there was a river between public and private education; now, I know its an ocean."
We are right smack in the middle of my sixth here at this school and my ninth year as a teacher. My teaching career has been fairly unique since I was already a mother and a (yikes) middle-aged woman when I began this journey. As a career, it is both exhilarating and exhausting. It challenges me in new ways every day. I take this job very seriously and I realize the important role I play in the lives of so many young people. It is a responsibility that I do not take lightly.
Things are much clearer and more respectful on this side of the public/private divide, but they are not perfect. There are always differences of opinion in terms of curriculum goals or pedagogical principles.
On top of that, we are not robots, we are people with unique personalities and that in itself can result in challenges as we struggle to communicate with people who may or may not have a personality style that complements our own.

Yesterday, purely by accident, I happened to see a portion of a CNN special on the current educational system in the US. The PISA (Programme for International Student Assessment) report tests and ranks 15 year olds in 70 countries. The US came in 14th in Reading, 17th in Science and 25th in Math. Two of the top ranking countries were S. Korea and Finland.

What is fascinating about that is that S. Korea and Finland have virtually opposite views of education. The CNN program did a wonderful job of quickly summarizing each country's system. I was not surprised to see that the S. Korean teenager they interviewed spent most of the hours of his day studying. His routine was rigorous, bordering on abusive, and he clearly felt the pressure of his highly competitive environment. In fact, the govt. official who was interviewed said that they are trying to find ways to mitigate the overall stress and intensity of their educational system. Does it work? It does, but at what cost? The students are not only sleep-deprived and sometimes even suicidal, but they are also devoid of a true love of learning. Everything is focused on pushing your brain to contain the maximum amount of data.


Finland, on the other hand, has a lack of pressure that is a bit surprising, even to the American eye. There are no uniforms, sometimes not even shoes (because Finnish people are usually barefoot at home and the school environment is supposed to be nurturing). There are not even any tardy bells. When the Finnish school official was asked how they can get such great educational results with such a seemingly lax environment, he responded that they hire great teachers and trust them. It was like a light bulb suddenly went off in my head and everything that I have been thinking in the last nine years suddenly coalesced into one real idea. YES. Teachers should be highly-trained and carefully selected, and then there should be a certain degree of autonomy afforded them to be passionate and creative instructors in their classrooms. The following blurb comes from the GREATSCHOOLS.ORG website and does a good job of summing up the Finnish teacher selection/training process.
The level of respect accorded to Finnish teachers tends to grab attention, especially in America where teaching is viewed as a "fallback" profession occupied primarily by the lower third of college graduates. That equation is flipped in Finland, where teachers boast the highest vocational status (followed by physicians.) A full 25% of Finnish youngsters select teaching as their career goal, but only a fraction succeed. Only 10% to 13% of applicants gain acceptance into the masters' degree in education program.


In other words, all teachers, of all grade levels, must have Masters Degrees, and the selection process to get into those programs is highly competitive. I truly believe that if we are ever going to solve the problem of our failing schools, we need to start by looking at how we value and train our teachers. In my ideal world, the salaries for teachers would be competitive with other professional careers (like Law and Medicine) so that our "best and brightest" could aspire/would aspire to be teachers. I do not believe that the secret to fixing our broken schools is to keep kids in school longer hours and give them more and more material to regurgitate on standardized tests. Instead, I believe that the secret lies in the teachers. We need to completely overhaul what it means to be a teacher. It is a profession that requires great skill, creativity, dedication, passion and ingenuity. It should NOT be a "fallback" career for the "lower third of college graduates!"
Let me know what you think about all of this. As for me....I might just have to move to Finland!

ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

HAPPY 2012.  Hopefully, you are all safe and sound and not terribly hungover. Unless you live in a cave without tv or internet access, you have been bombarded in the last few days with reminders about New Year's resolutions. Most of the related news segments have to do with diet and exercise. I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of linking the start of a bright, fresh new year with this emotional badgering. I know I should exercise more often. I know that it would be wonderful for me to eliminate all fats, and sugars and starches from my diet. Is there really anyone who doesn't know these things? So, I would like to propose a change. This year, I am going to substitute EIGHT new R-words for my resolutions. Here's my new list:

REJUVENATE-- NEW YEAR/NEW YOU.... I have written, in an earlier post, about my love of new beginnings: the start of the school year, the High Holydays, and now the beginning of another year on the secular calendar. How lucky we are to have all of these opportunities for renewal. Think of the new year as a blank canvas. What would you like to write, paint, create on this new clean space? The opportunities are endless. Each day is yours to make of it what you will.

REPAIR--Find something broken and fix it. The world is imperfect, and so are we. Start small. Start literal. I have home repairs that need to be addressed: paint that needs to be retouched, carpets that need to be cleaned, a bench that needs to be rebuilt. Then, moving beyond the literal, there are parts of me that could stand improvement. There are things I'd like to be better at. We all have those things that we would like to tweak or change about ourselves. Pick one and repair it. Finally, move beyond yourself and look around. What is broken that you could fix? Maybe this is the year to tackle that social problem that you have always noticed but never addressed. Would you like to make your workplace or neighborhood greener? Do you have a lonely neighbor whom you could befriend? Is 2012 the year you adopt a pet from the local shelter or volunteer hours in a political campaign or find a non-profit that needs your specific talents? The possibilities are endless.

RESTORE--Reinstate something that you have lost. Did you love to dance as a child but gave it up as you became inundated with more "grown-up" pursuits? You can restore something as simple as a favorite food from your childhood. Did you love peanut butter and banana sandwiches or   Rocket Bars from the ice cream truck? I used to love melting cheddar cheese in the microwave and dipping toast into it. When I make that decadent but simple snack now, I am immediately transported to my parent's kitchen and my adolescent self. Find something you used to love and bring it back to your life this year.

RESEARCH-- Pursue knowledge. We learn--we grow. That is the simplest secret to a good life. What are you curious about? What would you like to become an expert at? There are brand new biographies of Van Gogh and Kennedy waiting for you to pick them up or download them on your Kindle. Is 2012 the year that you will finally learn Italian or how to make beignets or how to ski? Because I am a bibliophile, I turn to books first when I want to learn a new skill. That is why cookbooks and craft books jockey for space with all my novels and memoirs. I am inspired by learning how people do things, and even if I do not follow their directions/recipes to the letter, I am still enhancing my skills as a cook or crafter. If you would like to learn about the world through stories, I have a recommendation. I recently finished Chris Cleave's beautiful and haunting novel, Little Bee. If you have not already read it, make it your first novel of 2012!

RESPOND-- React to the world around you. Be a participant not just an observer. Be reachable. Be touchable. Be involved. When people are kind, show your gratitude. Smile at strangers. Hold the door for the person coming up behind you. Laugh when life is funny and cry when life is sad.

REVEAL--Take off your mask and reveal the real you. We all wear masks. We all present a prettified or self-protective face to the world. But sometimes, we need to get real. Sometimes, we need to take a risk and be vulnerable. Years ago, when my life was fractured and complicated, I said to someone, "I just want my outsides and my insides to match." Now that they do match, I take great joy in sharing the real me with the people I care about. Trust yourself and know that you are enough. Share a portion of the unadorned version of yourself with the world.

RETREAT-- I crave solitude. I love people, but my soul is recharged with serenity. Even if you are an extrovert, there are benefits to retreating from the world and creating a calm, safe space where you can recharge your batteries. Even our cell phones cannot listen or talk all day without being recharged. We too need to find time to retreat from the world in small doses so that we can be fully engaged and present when we are with people.

Finally... REVEL.  Like puppies, we need to roll around in life and revel in the way it feels. We need to celebrate and enjoy and savor every moment. We need to notice and relish each breath, each taste, each second. My father is a wonderful reveler. He can celebrate the juiciness of a  fresh summer peach as if it were one of the crown jewels. On a great day in my classroom, I can revel in the fact that we are all learning together and marveling at the beauty and intricacy of the English language. Each day has a party hidden somewhere inside it. Find the joy!

Bye bye RESOLUTIONS.  In 2012, I will REJUVENATE, REPAIR, RESTORE, RESEARCH, RESPOND, REVEAL, RETREAT and REVEL.  Want to join me????