Have you ever been wowed or disappointed when you met someone famous?

This week, we had a rare opportunity at school to bring in an incredibly well-respected (dare I say famous?) author. A lovely grant allowed us to invite Tim O'Brien (author of The Things They Carried, In the Lake of the Woods, Going After Cacciato, and many other highly praised works) to speak to our students. While O'Brien is an author I've read and enjoyed, he would not have been at the top of my "Gee, I'd Like to Meet This Person" list. However, he blew me, and everyone else, away with his easy speaking style, emotional vulnerability and amazing stories.
A Vietnam Vet, O'Brien has experienced the war stories he writes about firsthand. However, most of his writing is fictional. O'Brien spoke eloquently about the ways in which harsh truth can sometimes be best captured in fiction. He illustrated his points by reading a story from his book and than telling us why it was true even though it never actually happened. It was a fascinating concept and challenging for many to wrap their heads around, and it provoked many interesting conversations afterwards.
Speaking to my seniors the next day, I realized that their understanding of Vietnam is extremely limited. While so many of the soldiers were only a year or two older than the seniors are now when they were shipped to an exotic and dangerous place, it is not something these kids really think about. They also really cannot begin to understand that these young men left the US only to  return to a country that was hostile towards them, treating them as if they were the transgressors rather than the victims. O'Brien said to the students, "You would have liked me before the war. I was a sweet kid. Really sweet. You wouldn't have wanted to know me when I came home."

When I was in college in the late seventies, the war was definitely a thought in my head. Though I started college in 1978 and the war had ended about 3 years earlier, it was still too close for comfort. When I took a playwriting class at Hampshire College, I wrote a play about women being drafted. I did not actually know anyone who went to Vietnam, but the thought that the government, my government, could require a person to leave their home and fight was terrifying to me. Now, as the mother of two strong, sturdy sons, I am grateful that they are not soldiers, but I am also enormously cognizant of the fact that there are mothers like me who have hugged their sons (and daughters) goodbye only to see them return in a flag-draped coffin.

September 11 made all of us even more patriotic (and more frightened) than we had been before. I know that, speaking for myself, I felt safer knowing that we had a willing group of soldiers to keep us protected and secure. The obvious tragedy is that the war(s) become disconnected from issues of security and, as often happens with war, the conflict takes on a life of its own.
In the title story of O'Brien's collection. "The Things They Carried," he lists all the burdens, literal and abstract, that the soldiers carry with them in the jungles of Vietnam. They carry the usual accoutrements of war, they carry the common memorabilia from home, but they also carry guilt, fear and the heavy burden of responsibility for each other's lives. By the end of the story, we, the reader, are sharing their burden by carrying their stories. Once you read a story, you can't unread it. Once you know a truth, you can't unknow it.
Telling stories allows us to share the burden that is an inherent part of being human. Somehow, our hearts expand when we carry each other's stories, and while we may feel heavier, we are also more united and even more ready to carry what we can.

HOW CAN I MAKE HEALTHY FOOD APPEALING?

I spend more time than I should pondering this question. I LOVE food. I love cooking it. I love eating it. I love restaurants. I love cooking for family and friends. The problem, simply put, is that much of what tastes good is not good for us. So sad!!!! As I age and things expand and drop and shift and pop, I struggle to continue my love affair with food in a healthy way. This is especially hard when you add the added factor of fatigue to the mix. When I come home from a long day at school, I do not usually yearn for a salad, I dream of comfort food. So, one of most recent attempts to make comfort food healthy was a very spur-of-the-moment re-take on Sloppy Joes; we will call these Just As Sloppy but not as Greasy Joes.

Ingredients:
1 package ground TURKEY
1 package ground TURKEY BREAST
1 14.5 oz. can diced tomatoes and green chiles
1 green pepper
1 onion
1/2 - 1/4 cup brown sugar (depending on how sweet you like it)
1 bottle CHILI SAUCE
Tabasco Sauce
Salt/Pepper
Garlic Powder

Directions:
1. Chop green pepper and onion and saute in small amount of olive oil
2. Once veggies are softened, add both packages of ground turkey and cook.
3. Add garlic powder, s/p and the brown sugar.
4. Add the can of tomatoes/chilies
5. Add chili sauce and several dashes of Tabasco
6. Let simmer for a while--the longer the better.
7. Serve on little wheat sliders

This photo really doesn't do them justice. I need a food stylist.

How Do You Celebrate Valentine's Day When You Are Single?

This is a question I have had a decade to ponder! Admittedly, I would be very happy NOT to have to know this particular piece of information, but since I have finally figured it out, I will share it with you!

One of my lovely PINTEREST finds.

The secret to celebrating Valentine's Day as a single person is simply to broaden the definition of Valentine.

Instead of limiting it to romantic love, expand it to include ALL the people you love who love you back. You will find that instead of feeling alone on this day that celebrates love, you will actually feel like the King or Queen of LOVE. My sweetest Valentines are Josh and Ben and Emily. The Valentines you give birth to always hold a special place in your heart!

Don't stop there! Think about your parents and your siblings. Add your friends to the list. See, you are a Valentine Aficionado! You ooze love out of all your lovely pores! Love surrounds and defines you.

I must have always believed this to be true without even knowing that I knew it. Let me explain.

A few days ago, while I was cleaning up and de-cluttering (my pre-pre-pre putting the house on the market efforts), I came across a Valentine's Day poem and project I'd had published in a Holiday Book for teachers of young children. I'd totally forgotten this poem and when I re-read it, I realized that this would be the perfect thing to share with you all for the Valentine's post, so here it is:

Valentine Virus
   by
Rachel Karff Weissenstein

On February first,
Ann woke up in a tizzy.

She didn't have fever.
She didn't feel dizzy.

She hadn't a cold
And her throat wasn't sore

But something inside her
Was screaming for more--

More love, more attention--
She just wasn't sure.

So Ann called her mom,
Hoping she'd have a cure.

"Well it sounds like the
Valentine Virus," mom said.

"Don't worry a bit.
Now just hop out of bed."

"Will I live?" Ann inquired.
"Is it fatal...or worse?

And how did I get it?
From bad food..or a curse?"

"Now, now," said Ann's mother,
"I'll explain it to you.

But its not at all like
Chicken Pox or the flu.

The doctor's quite useless,
And they don't make a pill.

But I do know, my dear.
Why you're feeling so ill.

Valentine's Day is soon
And the hearts are all out.

In store windows, on TV;
Why they practically shout:

'Who loves you? Who cares?
Whom do you admire?

Is your heart all aglow
With a passionate fire?

Do you yearn? Are you yearned for?
What cards will you buy?

Will someone send chocolates?
And if not, then why?

Will your friends send you cards?
And if so, how many?

And how will you feel
If you never get any?'"

"Yes, yes!" Ann agreed.
"It all sounds quite perverse.

Quick, tell me the cure,
Before I get any worse!"

"The cure," said her mom,
"Is the simplest thing.

It will make your heart soar,
And your spirit will sing.

The 'Look Who Loves Me' necklace
Is the best remedy.

The virus will vanish
And its even pain-free.

We'll make it, one day
At a time," said her mother,

"And you'll soon have a necklace
Unlike any other.

Each day we'll add one heart
With one special name

Of someone who loves you--
No two hearts the same.

By Valentine's Day,
You'll have quite a collection

Of hearts on a string
Symbolizing affection.

You can count them and touch them,
And they'll always remind you

Of all of the people
Who are standing behind you.

'You go, girl' they'll shout.
'We love you, we do

On Valentine's, New Year's
And April Fools' too.'

On each day that is special
And each day that is plain

You are loved and admired
from New Jersey to Spain.

So each day remember....
And don't ever forget

That your necklace keeps growing;
It hasn't stopped yet.

Your 'Look Who Loves Me' necklace
Will only grow longer

As your love for yourself
Gets stronger and stronger."

On Februrary 14th,
Ann woke up in a hurry.

Her heart was racing,
But from joy, not worry.

She put on her necklace
And jumped out of bed.

She picked out a red dress
And a bow for her head.

Today is the day
To declare it out loud:

"Look at me. Look who .loves me."
Ann was feeling so proud.

"And look who I like,
Who I love and admire.

I can shout from the rooftops!
I can sing in the choir!

"You and you...oh and you
Happy Valentine's Day.

I've got such love to spare,
I'll just give some away."

So, Ann raced to school
With her bag overflowing

Full of Valentines to share
And a heart that's still growing!

        The End


Happy Valentine's Day and thank you to so many of you for being the names on my "LOOK WHO LOVES ME" necklace year after year!

IF WE ARE THE SANDWICH GENERATION, CAN WE CELEBRATE OUR LAYERED LIVES?

I am writing this post in defense of the Sandwich Generation. The term has been used to describe Baby Boomers who are "stuck" between the demands of aging parents and growing children. I am writing as one of the LUCKY ones, and I am incredibly cognizant of that fact. While there have been a handful of times when I have felt the need to care for my parents (a destructive house fire and bouts with cancer), the majority of my life, they have been my rocks and my supporters. On those few occasions when the tables were turned, I felt a vast array of emotions including the obvious sadness that they were suffering but also an awkward intangible sort of relief that I was able to help them, the people who have given me the most, in some small way.
I look around at my friends and realize that I am very, very lucky.Some people are parent-less, some have only one parent left, others are caring for ailing parents, and still others never had a close relationship with their parents to begin with. I have had the extreme gift of sharing my life with them and watching them interact with, and get to know, my three children. That is one of the sweetest parts of the sandwich.

Josh, Ben & Emily with my dad, many years ago in Charlevoix, Michigan






Of course, there is also a bit of anxiety inherent in that because we want the people we love most in the world to love and appreciate each other.  My parents have made a conscious effort to connect, on an individual basis, with each of their seven grandchildren. In fact, starting with Josh, the eldest, they took each one on a trip to Disneyworld. They have also made it a point to visit each college-age grandchild in his or her natural habitat. This weekend, we drove to Austin to visit Emily and see her apartment and meet some of her friends and sorority sisters.

Emily was not always the sweet, charming child she is today. My mother recalls picking her up from middle school when she needed a ride to Hebrew School Wednesday afternoons to prepare for her Bat-Mitzvah. I was tied up in class since I had returned to graduate school and this lovely chauffeuring task fell in my mom's lap. As she tells the story, she would arrive at the carpool line only to have Emily spot her and then walk quickly in the opposite direction and stand visiting with her friends. My lovely mother, not really known for her patience, somehow mustered enough of it to wait for Emily to acknowledge her presence and get in the car. Ultimately, mom discovered that a quick trip to Chick-Fil-A before Hebrew School would entice Emily into the car and soften her adolescent edges. Today, they greet each other like long lost friends and clearly have a mutual admiration society.

Emily was a wonderful guide and drove us around the University of Texas campus and the city with ease. Last night, two of her new friends, Annika and Kate, joined us for dinner and it was lovely to see that Em has surrounded herself, once again, with great gals, This morning, before we left Austin to drive back to Houston, the four of us went out to a fun Austin hangout for breakfast. When I spotted this wild and vibrant mural on the wall, I couldn't resist the urge to snap this photo of three of my favorite people. I am so lucky to be the turkey to their whole wheat!!!!!