IF WE ARE THE SANDWICH GENERATION, CAN WE CELEBRATE OUR LAYERED LIVES?

I am writing this post in defense of the Sandwich Generation. The term has been used to describe Baby Boomers who are "stuck" between the demands of aging parents and growing children. I am writing as one of the LUCKY ones, and I am incredibly cognizant of that fact. While there have been a handful of times when I have felt the need to care for my parents (a destructive house fire and bouts with cancer), the majority of my life, they have been my rocks and my supporters. On those few occasions when the tables were turned, I felt a vast array of emotions including the obvious sadness that they were suffering but also an awkward intangible sort of relief that I was able to help them, the people who have given me the most, in some small way.
I look around at my friends and realize that I am very, very lucky.Some people are parent-less, some have only one parent left, others are caring for ailing parents, and still others never had a close relationship with their parents to begin with. I have had the extreme gift of sharing my life with them and watching them interact with, and get to know, my three children. That is one of the sweetest parts of the sandwich.

Josh, Ben & Emily with my dad, many years ago in Charlevoix, Michigan






Of course, there is also a bit of anxiety inherent in that because we want the people we love most in the world to love and appreciate each other.  My parents have made a conscious effort to connect, on an individual basis, with each of their seven grandchildren. In fact, starting with Josh, the eldest, they took each one on a trip to Disneyworld. They have also made it a point to visit each college-age grandchild in his or her natural habitat. This weekend, we drove to Austin to visit Emily and see her apartment and meet some of her friends and sorority sisters.

Emily was not always the sweet, charming child she is today. My mother recalls picking her up from middle school when she needed a ride to Hebrew School Wednesday afternoons to prepare for her Bat-Mitzvah. I was tied up in class since I had returned to graduate school and this lovely chauffeuring task fell in my mom's lap. As she tells the story, she would arrive at the carpool line only to have Emily spot her and then walk quickly in the opposite direction and stand visiting with her friends. My lovely mother, not really known for her patience, somehow mustered enough of it to wait for Emily to acknowledge her presence and get in the car. Ultimately, mom discovered that a quick trip to Chick-Fil-A before Hebrew School would entice Emily into the car and soften her adolescent edges. Today, they greet each other like long lost friends and clearly have a mutual admiration society.

Emily was a wonderful guide and drove us around the University of Texas campus and the city with ease. Last night, two of her new friends, Annika and Kate, joined us for dinner and it was lovely to see that Em has surrounded herself, once again, with great gals, This morning, before we left Austin to drive back to Houston, the four of us went out to a fun Austin hangout for breakfast. When I spotted this wild and vibrant mural on the wall, I couldn't resist the urge to snap this photo of three of my favorite people. I am so lucky to be the turkey to their whole wheat!!!!!